I
went to see Beowulf in IMAX 3D recently and all I can say is holy moly! Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen the future of
motion-picture entertainment… 3D motion capture!
I'm not talking about those paper 3-D glasses with the
blue-and-red lenses from yester-year here folks no sir-e-bob you're given (for
keeps!) a pair of lightweight plastic glasses, and the best part is-they won't
give you a killer headache.
This 3D experience is something I'll remember for a very
long time; we're talking "yikes, it's coming right at me!" kinda stuff.
Visually, Beowulf
is one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in quite awhile. So put on those goofy plastic glasses and ride, baby, ride!
The 3-D really adds something to the experience, even though I should say that I haven't
seen the 2-D version of the film but I can't imagine it having the same appeal
at all.
Whatever you do, make that extra effort and find an IMAX
theater and see the flick in 3D. You won't be sorry trust me.
First things first: This is not the 8th century epic poem
you read in high school and that's actually a good thing for moviegoers. Wait, what did you say? You want that Beowulf? Well, get the book, I'm not stopping you. But if you
want a bloody action adventure with a side of popcorn, see the movie.
Y'know I was made to read Beowulf in high school and I gotta
admit I didn't enjoy it. Maybe it was the whole forced required reading school thing.
I don't know. What I do know is
that I should have enjoyed it. It's an epic poem with a man fighting monsters
with quite the bit of blood and guts. I was amazed when I first saw the
trailers. I was suddenly excited to see some monsters get killed by Beowulf. And
I wasn't let down it was a great animated action movie.
Based on the epic novel, Beowulf tells the story of a kingdom in Denmark
that has been terrorized by a demon named Grendel.
After Grendel kills a bunch of
townsfolk during a celebration, the king offers half his gold to anyone who can
rid the land of him. Enter Viking Hero Beowulf!
"I am Beowulf," he says, "and I'm here to kill your
monster."
Hey your majesty: the monster guy is here!
The legendary hero Beowulf braves the ocean to come home and
cash in on the reward. Beowulf manages to battle and kill Grendel
(in his birthday suit, no less, to even out the odds), and soon Grendel's mother seeks revenge. Poor Grendel!
I was surprised at how pathetic and sad a monster he was. I really did feel bad
for the poor wretched creature in the end.
Anyhoo, Beowulf goes to confront
and destroy her but when he reaches her lair, she takes on the form of a
beautiful, sexy naked Angelina Jolie, who seduces him
and makes a deal that allows her to live and give birth to a new son.
The relationships between the characters are pretty shallow
but I can't exactly criticize the story now can I? Mainly because it has stood the test of time
– some 1300 years of so! However, I will say that I would have liked a little
more from the story and characters.
Made with motion-capture technology where actors work on a
empty soundstage, and their bodies are digitally painted over, which means that
the characters in the movie should look almost human.
It's basically rotoscope's flashy
cousin. Call it the future of movies or call it a gimmick,
it's definitely fun and definitely worth experiencing.
It's somewhat similar
to the stuff director Robert Zemeckis used in
"The Polar Express," but not! "Beowulf" is the polar opposite of that. The human faces,
especially the eyes in "Beowulf" look somewhat less dead and creepy than they
did in "The Polar Express,
The animation was top-notch. Everything flowed together really
well, and at times I forgot this wasn't a live-action film. In the scenes with
Angelina Jolie, for example, she looks real in the
close-up shots and I had to remember this was animated.
The best scene by far and one you have all probably heard
about by now is the naked fighting match with the slimy, screaming monster, Grendel. In order to keep its PG-13 rating intact the film hides
the hero's private parts with anything at hand, from a sword to a helmet to a
ceiling beam. A very big ceiling beam!
Now let's talk about Angelina Jolie
shall we. Yes, she plays Grendel's Mother – the
mother of all monsters!
Now
I know Angelina Jolie's grand entrance in the movie
is one you have probably all heard about. It happens somewhere between the part
where the good guy kills the monster and the part where he fights a dragon.
Coming
from the dark waters, Grendel's mom looks more like a gorgeous gold Emmy statue, in all
her sexy glory, with a wicked serpent's tail and stiletto heels built into her
feet. (Grendel must have gotten his looks from his
father) Instead of Beowulf's blood, all she wants in return for her son's death
is for him to give her a child (did you hear that, Brad Pitt?).
Beowulf
is mesmerized and seduced by her hotness, basically setting himself up for a
lifetime of heartache and lies. For the record, I think people are over-hyping the
full-frontal nudity just a bit. Her "nakedness" is about as anatomically
correct as a Barbie doll. And no, Grendel's mother
looked nothing like Angelina Jolie in the classic – in
fact she was a monstrous old hag from the swamp.
All in all, this
was an enjoyable, funny,
exciting, sassy ride. Not
bad for a 1300 year old crusty text!
Don't get me wrong I'm not for a minute
suggesting that all movies should or could be made this way, but for this
genre, it captures it perfectly.
Oh, and the dragon fight scene? It's
fabulous.
Rated PG-13 |