Just got back from seeing the movie “Paranormal Activity” and let me start by saying don't believe the hype –“Paranormal Activity”  may be a lot of things, but the words "scary" and “movie” aren’t any of them! It’s nothing more than a cleverly marketed slow moving, nauseating YouTube gag.

By now, you probably already know the story, but here goes for those who don’t. It's not complicated the movie starts off with text stating that what we are about to see is actual footage discovered by the San Diego Police Department (psst- don’t believe it!) What it really is- is a faux-documentary style “mock-umentary” story about a young couple being haunted. It turns that the main character Katie has had a ghost stalker since childhood. So now, Katie is freaking out about the reappearance of this mysterious presence in their new house, but her boyfriend Micah (of course) is too “manly” to believe in such nonsense.

Micah decides to have some fun with this and goes out and buys a $3000 video camera, rigs it up and begins taping in their bedroom as they sleep. Not long after that  the camera starts to pick up strange happenings in the middle of the night.  That’s the setup, and it would be hard to go much deeper than that without dropping some major SPOILERS.

During the day, he and Katie disagree- in other words fight about what to do (a lot!) Instead of seeing a couples therapist, they consult a psychic who can’t really help them other than to tell them not to use a Ouja board and oh yeah give the movie a stupid reason for keeping poor Katie and Micah at home.
SideNote: I do have to say though, the actors have excellent chemistry together and really act like a couple and both are attractive in a real-people-you-know, non-Hollywood kind of way. 

I am so, mad that I wasted more than an hour and a half seeing this film. I think it started as a good premise, but they could have done so much more with the story line, me even on a bare bones budget. It just didn't scare. Sure I’ll admit some scenes did make me jump but then again I jump at all loud noises in movies, as I do in real life, but that's not the same thing.

I actually think “Paranormal Activity” would be best viewed on DVD. In fact, I implore you to wait for the DVD to come out and not for the obvious reasons.
Now I know it's rare that I would recommend "wait for DVD", but that’s exactly what I’m doing with “Paranormal Activity”. It’s a little film that is being way overhyped so it's easy to be underwhelmed in a big theater setting.
It might just scare the crap out of you if you're sitting at home watching it in the dark on your couch.
As the film was mercifully (I was losing my battle with trying to keep down lunch- thanks shaky-cam!)  getting to the end I worried that it wouldn't be able to stick the landing, and guess what it totally didn’t!

Things I’ve Learned After Seeing “Paranormal Activity”

• You know what's scarier than the lights in your home turning on and off by themselves in the middle of the night? Finding footprints left by some kind of three-toed creature next to your bed in the morning!

• When an expert in demonology tells you never to use a Ouija board to talk with a demon, because that's an invitation for them to cross over into your home, take their advice. Better yet, never use a Ouija board at all, just to be safe. You remember how evil and dangerous they seemed when you were a kid? It's all true.

• “Paranormal Activity” is short- a brief 87 minutes, but it would have been much more enjoyable e if it had been 5 or 10 minutes shorter. You know when characters in a movie start bickering and arguing for no good reason, even when they're in the middle of a situation so scary they should only be thinking about survival? That's called padding.

• When you have no big special effects, no time for reshoots and your two lead actors have one movie role between them, the story better be really good.

Rated R (for explicit language) people tend to curse a lot when they are scared!